"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:1-2
As I sat in my bed, numb, I typed out these words to a trusted, safe friend, "Will you pray for me? I have no purpose."
My heart was bleeding pain, sorrow, loneliness. My heart was shattered, and I finally allowed the pain to seep in. My heart was a sponge, soaking in the reality of my deep missing of me.
Even worse in the midst of my meltdown, I realized I had no me.
Heaviness of my crushing spirit took place in the emotions of:
Me, lost in years of striving to be perfect.
Me, who was critical and complacent.
Me, who was angry and agitated.
Me, who felt worn out and wasted.
Me, who felt dumb and damaged.
That was the "true me" hiding behind the mask of fake for many years. For much of my life.
My soul yelled out: "Help me" in the aloneness of a desert. Searching for Water. His Holy-Water. Life quenching, life changing Life-Water.
The chains of a calloused soul started to break free.
Christ-Freedom loosened the noose of the "nasty one" to awaken me.
Pray with Me was the Master's cry in my heart.
Pouring Love of prayer was the call.
Prayer, the key to freedom.
Prayer, my life-cord to Christ.
Prayer, the link to freedom through the Cross.
Deep Love-Prayer to save my heart. To save my life.
Falling down on my knees and "take me" type of prayer.
Isn't this what Esther did in such a times as this? Purpose marched out through prayer and fasting. Her purpose rised up and out, and she saved a nation. (Esther 4-5)
God cracked the window in my mind's eye to show me a gift marked with my name, but before He could place the gift in my hand for His plan, pause and prayer had to begin.
The first step in purpose for me was prayer and still is today.
Life-cord prayer in the Cross of Christ.
Prayer set me free to see His purpose in me.
Over three years ago was when I emailed my friend. God freed me from the cry of my words.
His Love-Whispers wiped away my wounds.
It was slow and steady, my prayer freedom walk.
It was a courting from the Above-Love showing me His cross.
Prayer ripened me for the picking for a purpose.
Prayer grew me.
Prayer paved a path for me.
A God path of purpose.
Beloved, are you like the bleeding-heart soul in the bed writing a friend to pray for you because you feel you have no purpose?
Are you faking life, living behind a mask?
There is hope in the Hope. Cross-Hope.
"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people," Ephesians 1:18
"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:12
"May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice." Psalm 141:2
Our Living Hope sets us free to see the love of Christ. Our True Redeemer.
Prayer walked me to the Cross-Love of Hope. Each faith-step strengthened me to see His value in me through His loving eyes. His tender, caring eyes.
He sees you through His eyes of love too. Love from the Love.
Might I be honest with you my friend? Due to the hold of doubt on my soul and the negative chatter in my ears, my bondage lasted way too long. His purpose was right in front of me, and I was too downcasted to see it.
I missed the mark due to shame and self-doubt, but worst of all doubt in God.
In every walk of life my Lord placed a purpose on me, and I was crippled to see it due to a fractured heart.
Through prayer, my Love showed me His purpose is not always "grand."
Small but meaningful moments with my Love is what matters.
God values the everyday life of purpose.
It is a faithful yes to the Purpose-Maker
I imagine some of you may feel the same. What is blinding you of His purpose today?
Your Love is reaching for you to set you free. Run to His Cross-Freedom "for such a time is this."
Dear Savior of Freedom, thank you for your open arms of Cross-Freedom. The Cross-Love. Your Love-Reach is everlasting, no matter where we are in our life-walk. You reach for us in love. I pray over your daughters, the Beloved. Help them know you have a perfect purpose picked out just for them. Their purpose is unique, and it is in the every day of life. Simple and uncomplicated. Free us, Lord, so we can stand in your Truth and seek and believe you in all our ways. We love you.
Question for you:
How can I pray for you?