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Finding Beauty in Our Flaws


Casual Conversations is for God to use my writings as His vessel to deepen women's faith in Him. Women will receive and grow in His Love and His Faithfulness.

Finding Beauty in Our Flaws

Michele Oleary

“All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Songs 4:7 (NIV). This is one of the most beautiful verses in the Bible. Why is it such a hard verse to soak in, believe, and cherish as a woman?

As she sat on the front porch with tear filled eyes, she hungered for someone to notice her, to say her name. Her emotions felt crushing. She felt like a castaway, drifting away in the current of life. Sadly, that young girl sitting on the front porch feeling hopeless, inadequate, ugly and unimportant was me at age 11. 

My low self-esteem caused me to become careless and impulsive, especially as I grew older. The lies, the hostile relationships and other corrosive choices have had an everlasting effect on my life. An everlasting effect on my soul. An everlasting effect on my heart. Although I was a believer, I didn’t believe I was beautiful, not in my eyes, in the world’s eyes, or most importantly in God’s eyes. All I saw in the mirror was a flawed soul. How could I ever believe I was beautiful and beloved?

One of my first jobs after high school was a secretary at a funeral home. A sweet lady named Louise worked there too. She was considerably older than me, but it did not take long for our friendship to blossom into something special.  

Louise was a woman who lived her faith and loved her Savior. As I reflect back, I would call Louise a true warrior for Christ. She was a wonderful, attentive listener and knew the right questions to ask. She never sat in judgment.

As months passed, we laughed together, broke bread together, and cherished the time we spent together. Louise started to see my heart, a heart full of hurt and shame. She realized in time, that my inner thoughts about myself were so dark and negative that my soul was as dead as the people in the caskets in the viewing rooms.

For almost a year, Louise guided me and loved me through a very difficult time of my life. As a warrior for Christ, she prayed for me daily. Her prayer was for me to see and desire her Savior and make Him my own again. 

I can remember the first time we sat together to pray in the small kitchen at work. My heart was beating so fast as she tenderly reached out and took my nervous hands. My mind was racing, wondering if God would hear my prayers. Would He say to me, “Come to me, all you who that are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

It was because of the truthfulness of Louise’s life and her genuine faith, that I allowed myself to see God’s compassion for the first time in many years. I saw His forgiveness, and I saw that I was created in His own image. God’s beauty and grace started to transform me from a flawed person to a beloved, godly young lady.

God’s amazing grace allowed two paths to intersect, one of life and one of death. God used a woman of faith as a vessel to sprinkle His nourishment of confidence, wisdom, and love over me. I am who I am today because of the obedience of a warrior, faithful woman. 

Have you had a warrior in your life? A person who answered “yes” to the calling of God to intercede for you? Someone who took your hand and held it tight and walked through the deepest, darkest valley with you? Maybe you are dug into the trenches with someone who is searching, needing to know that they are beloved. What a blessing and honor to battle hand in hand with our Lord, the Warrior of all warriors. 

Remember these wise words from Abileen Clark in the movie, “The Help” written by Kathryn Stockett; “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” 

 “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 (NIV)